Ride through the desert until you get to the singing bush. Then say the chant and fire three shots in the air to summon the Invisible Swordsman ...
We could give you extensive driving directions to the DC Improv, but a quick glance at the calendar confirms that it's the 21st century. So instead, just click on the address below and it will pop up in Google Maps:
That's on the west side of Connecticut Avenue, between L Street and M Street. The club is below street level, so look for the stairs going down. There is limited street parking around the Improv, and almost every spot in the area is metered.
Chances are you won't be able to grab street parking, especially on the weekends. The good news: if you reserve in advance, you can get discounted parking right next door in the Colonial garage at 1140 Connecticut Ave NW. A parking reservation at that garage includes complimentary valet service. Here's the link. This garage is located only a few feet from the comedy club door.
You can also find a PMI Parking facility at 1725 Desales St. NW, about a block away.
Taking the Metro
The DC Improv is a short walk from both Farragut North (red) and Farragut West (orange, blue, silver). If you get off at Farragut West, use the 17th Street exit, walk north along Farragut Square and then follow Connecticut Avenue. If you get off at Farragut North, use either of the L Street exits, then walk north on Connecticut Avenue. If you're walking north, the Improv is on the left side of the road.
If you aren't sure which way is north, please volunteer with the Boy Scouts of America or the Girl Scouts of America as soon as possible. You're going to learn a lot of great navigational skills, as well as how to tie a number of helpful knots, such as the sheepshank.
Sometimes it's nice to pretend you're in Europe by riding a bike everywhere. Here's the Capital Bikeshare map, if you want to find nearby docking stations. The closest stations to the Improv are at 17th & Rhode Island, 18th & M St., and next to Farragut Square park.
Using a Private Aircraft
We strongly advise against using a private aircraft, such as Gulfstream G65 or a Hermes EC 135 helicopter, to reach the DC Improv. Washington has very strict rules regarding its airspace, and if you attempt to land your private aircraft anywhere near Connecticut Avenue, there is an excellent chance that you will go to jail. However, if you have that kind of money, please contact the DC Improv about hiring a comic. We can probably bring the show to you.
Traveling by Wormhole
Although some physicists believe that it is possible to reach the DC Improv by traveling through a fold in the fabric of space and time, please do not use a wormhole when traveling to the DC Improv. The Improv leases its space, and our landlords are very clear that all holes in the universe must be repaired at the expense of the Improv. Also, we watched a lot of "Deep Space 9" and we want nothing to do with The Dominion.
Introspective Personal Journeys
Some people will only come to the Improv after several decades of plodding personal development. Before accepting the Improv as their comedy venue, they might need to work out deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and come to terms with an overbearing father figure. Please know that the staff of the DC Improv fully supports your voyage of self-actualization. Especially if you tip the wait staff.
Contrary to popular opinion, it is not possible reach the DC Improv by swimming -- not even if you use Washington's sewer system. We know that a warlord used the sewer system to break into the White House in season 7 of the critically acclaimed Fox drama "24," but please realize that "24" is a fictional show.